>Live Out Loud

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I am constantly reminded by Jesus to keep going after His heart. Keep desiring Him above all else and seek first His Kingdom and ALL THESE THINGS shall be added unto you. Seeking His Kingdom is desiring to share Him everyday with others through my actions. I keep hearing Him say to me, “Live your life out loud and I will show you a harvest of love.” Everyday I pray over sick workers who come into my office for a paper to go to the clinic. I pray for people every day as they head out on the road for protection. I am now leading morning devotions and all I am doing is sharing what I am reading and meditating on in my daily readings of the Word of God. Jesus always has a message. I am the message of His love.

Am I just carrying the gospel or am I letting it also carry me. I hear the Savior calling and saying, “If My people would be the message, there would be no need to preach. Live out loud what you read in the quiet.” I can’t read His living Word and then set it down and carry on about the day’s work. I have to allow the day’s work to fit into the Word that is now alive in me.

I had a chance to go visit the hospital yesterday right after lunch. I almost didn’t go because I am so busy during the day, but I just felt this pull to go. We have a young man who had his outer ankle bone sheered off by a tractor accident. We went asking for a miracle. There are so many who sit there in the same horrible conditions that I have seen in hospitals all over Africa. Again they must provide their own food or they don’t eat. They must pay for their medicine up front or they don’t get any. There were many who had foot injuries and instead of casts, which we don’t have, they take a cardboard box and square it off and wrap it with gauze and that is the cast.

Our pastor says that it is amazing how bad this man’s foot looked when they first brought him three days ago and how now he is trying to walk on it! His bones were literally severed off completely and he is trying to walk! We laid hands on him and talked to him about Jesus because he didn’t know Jesus. Then I saw a little boy all by himself with a broken arm and went to pray for him. He is from Congo and can talk to no one because we don’t speak French. Jesus’ love does. There were families and babies and food and God. God is there with these people. Jesus says bring yourself to visit and be the message and I will reveal Myself to them. Live out loud what you read in the quiet. I read about Jesus having compassion on the sick. All I had to offer was compassion and I know Jesus came.

Yesterday I also got my Sudan Driver’s License. So, you guessed it, today first thing I went on the 4-wheeler ATV out to the Iris base and had kids crawling all over me all morning and part of the afternoon!! Hahahaha what a blast. I said out loud, “It sure feels good to be dirty again!” I didn’t care where their hands had been. I didn’t care if their bottoms were dirty. I didn’t care if their faces were dirty. I kissed faces, held babies, danced and spun them around and even little “Eema boy” came right up to me and actually held his hand out to me! He NEVER does that. He won’t even let people touch him. Oh what joy it is to be in the midst of Jesus love!

Then on the way back I ran out of gas! How funny, funny, funny! I was sitting on this trail where the grass is too high to see over and these three little boys came timidly down the trail and I talked what little I knew in Arabic and they came closer. Then I reached out my hands and offered to let them sit on my machine and that was the end of their timidity! And so they played on the ATV until my boss came with gas. Sudanese men and women walked by on the trail offering help but I told them, “Petrol…. Coming” and they shook my hand and went their way. Such extremely nice people.

These are the moments in my life that makes facing the darkness of Sudan so worth it. Over the last week it has gotten spiritually darker here. As I have asked others they have agreed they are feeling the same. There has been a pack of wild dogs that run the streets (dirt roads) at night, all night, and they howl and growl. They used to only be sporadic. In this last week I have heard them all over town, a hugry pack, and they howl and growl and fight literally all night. It is the most evil sound and I feel the heaviness in the air, in the spirit realm, when I awaken.

I am finding it so very easy to stay in the Presence of God here in the midst of it all. I want to say to those of you who read this that many are feeling burdened because they do not “feel” God’s Presence. I have read emails from friends stating this very problem. The only way to feel God’s Presence is to know God’s Presence. You have to get to a place in walking with Him that you know He is with you even when you don’t feel Him. You have to KNOW He is with you. My life here in Africa is ALL about faith. It is definitely not about feeling because I feel the darkness too and I believe that I am still always in His Presence. I believe that He never leaves me or forsakes me. Most of the time I don’t “feel” God but I know beyond a single doubt that He is here because I see Him moving in all of my days. The only way you can know God is with you and see Him move is to give yourself completely to Him. Give your days and nights to Him. Let your heart be taken captive without having to feel anything.

Here in this place, where it is so dark, if I don’t believe God is with me, I will die. I will quit and go home. I stay in His Word every single day. I talk to Him throughout the day. I actively look for Him in all my normal daily situations and I give Him the glory when I see that He helps me all the day long. I beseech you beloved, move past the feelings and step into the knowing, the walking by faith, pure faith. God is looking for worshippers who will worship Him in spirit and in truth. The truth is, He is with you. Just believe it beloved. He is with you because He loves you. Just because He loves you. You are His beloved.

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